New Look, New Post, New Perspective

I'm back! Like, really really back.

I took a much needed break from blogging and reading them (mostly). My google reader is going haywire I'm sure. I haven't checked that thing in ages. Six months to be exact.

The break from blogging gave me a little bit of a new perspective and
F R E E D O M. I was really at odds with blogging in general. 

Can I be honest? This whole "mommy blogger" movement creeps me out a little. It just does.

I wanted so badly to believe that blogging was a good way to connect with other women and learn from one another. I do feel like this can be the case. I still have blogs that I adore reading whether it be because it's thought provoking, witty, inspiring, or just pretty to look at.

But, I feel blogging has potential, and maybe already has, to turn into a way for stay-at-home mommy's to have an audience of some sort- you know, besides the audience of little people and husband living with them. I mean, women surely got by in past decades without blogging about their child's poop and uploading a picture within minutes of it happening for the whole world to see right? Did they have the need to dissect with their words the latest and newest (sarcasm should be noted) craze of cleaning with baking soda?

Frankly, I just didn't want to be a part of fighting this battle in my own heart of needing an audience outside of my home or be a part of "feeding" into that for someone else. I know it's presumptuous on my part to assume that I would be doing that for someone else. But, let's be honest. It does feel good for any human to hear accolades of how awesome we are because we (fill in the blank) or can do (fill in the blank).

On the flip side of this, I would hear comments of women who would read blogs and walk away feeling discontent because they don't feel like they are doing enough like a certain super mom blogger or because they're not as creative as this blog mommy or because their home doesn't look like this mom who homeschools and runs a photography business all at the same time.

Is that paragraph up there all one sentence? I really need to work on my writing skillz!

Back to the point.

We can all agree that seeing what goes up in a post on a blog (or even facebook) is not an entirely accurate picture of someones life. Right? Behind the staged photos or the funny stories or hard posts about trials there is sometimes much much more going on. Sometimes it is what it is.

And I wouldn't even go so far as to saying that bloggers even have an obligation to be bare bones real in all areas of their lives and fully disclose everything with mostly complete strangers who aren't in close community with them. Some may choose to do this and that is their choice. Others may want to pick and choose what they want their readers to know about them. I don't think it's a black and white issue. But, I've heard from other women out there who like different bloggers because they are "real". There are blogs that I love for the "real" factor too. However, I believe it is hard to get an accurate "real" picture of someone based solely off of their words and the photos they choose to post. That's all I'm saying.

I think the thing to embrace here is for those of us who choose to be a part of blogging is to extend grace towards one another AND to ourselves. We shouldn't read blogs and leave with the feelings of discontentment or that we're lame losers because we don't do (fill in the blank) in our homes, with our families, or in our kitchens. We must know that we are only seeing a glimpse of someones life and what they want you to know. Not the entire story. Playing games of comparison with other women who you really don't know entirely and accurately is harmful and a waste of our time.

I got tired of reading blogs (mine included) in which the author starts off after not posting for days (gasp!) by apologizing profusely for their lack of posts and how they were so so sorry. Why apologize? Why did I feel I needed to apologize? Was it because the blog quickly became all about the audience rather than the content? Most likely for me, this was the case.

I'm choosing to blog without obligations. This blog is about the things I love, celebrate, and what I want to write about. There pressure is off. I don't want to fit any molds or keep up with any trends. Most likely you'll find things in written form about my Savior, farm life,  my girls, the farmer of my dreams, simplicity (or trying to achieve it), foodie stuff, hippy stuff, and whatever else I find joy in.

I'm not terribly well-written, but it is something I do enjoy and hope to practice. I've wanted to be a journal keeping kind of gal, but sitting down with a pencil is just not my thing. I can crank things out much quicker by typing. 

One of the things I noticed about being gone so long from blogging is that I didn't document these precious little girls' and our family's lives well. I missed that. I missed putting into words how wonderful they are, pausing to document and capture, and delighting in that.

There is something truly special about taking a thought and putting it into words to weave a story. Writing makes you dig deep and pick exactly just the right word to express the sentiment you are feeling- and the Thesaurus is always helpful too!

Thanks for popping by our little neck of the interwebz. I'm not perfect. I DO want to be as real as possible. But, there is always a pile of laundry behind the scenes of any photo taken in our home. This is for dang sure! Heck, I may even post photos of the real live insanity.

And one day in the near future when I have my act together enough (will that day every come??) these blog posts will be put into a printed book for my girls to have for years to come. In the meanwhile, I'm just glad I can hit "save" and it's done.

I'll leave you with a snapshot from yesterday of my girls playing together smiling and happily...a rare moment.