Haircut from Hades

*I know most of you will probably scroll on down to look at the disaster so go ahead and do that now, but come back and read the story:).

Typically people post pictures of themselves looking cute and spiffy with their new do or new whatever on their blogs. But, in this post you will not find that.

You see, today I went to get my long awaited haircut at a local salon- local meaning Brenham. I've never been to this salon before, but I called them ahead time to schedule an appointment.

The prerequisite for this salon was that we heard (which in small towns in HUGE) that this was the place to go and that all of their stylists were great.

When I called, the owner happened to answer the phone. I told her that I was looking for a great stylist to be my permanent go-to lady in Brenham and that since we've moved here, I haven't found anyone locally to cut my hair. I told her that I wanted to go back to a shorter/bob style haircut and I currently had hair passed my shoulders. Then I asked her if there was anyone that was particularly good at bobs/short cuts, to put me with her and that would be perfect.

The owner acted like I was a total doof. She replied,"If my girls weren't good at cutting hair, I wouldn't hire them in the first place." That was her remark to me.

I thought to myself- Did I say something wrong? How do you go about getting a 'new' person to cut your hair? What should one say? Should I just be okay with anyone if I already know what kind of 'do' I'm looking for?

Anyways, she hands the phone over to a stylist that was sitting beside her (she really looked into that request of mine now didn't she?) and the rest is history.

I went in today with a magazine full of pictures in my purse. The moment I saw my 'new stylist', I was delighted because she had a very cute bob.

We went back to her chair- the chair of doom. I pulled out the magazine and started showing her pictures of hairstyles that I liked. I even made reference to her hair by saying that I loved her haircut, but I wanted mine to be longer than hers- which hers was slightly passed her chin. Here are the key statements that I said to this gal:

- My hair has curl to it, so it shrinks really bad.
- I want to be able to still pull it back (with the help of bobby pins).
- I want my hair to be longer than yours.

Along with pictures, I was hoping these statements would have put us on the same page.

But, not so much.

For the dudes who have made it this far in reading (wow!), this is what a bob looks like and along the same lines of the pictures I showed her. I know you can't see the back in these photos, but I DID show her the backs of haircuts too. And I'm pretty sure the back of these look nothing like the back of mine. Any who....here they are.



The first snip took place and I even said something at this point. Which if you know me, you probably know I'm a pushover when it comes to this type of stuff.

I told her that it was going to be too short and was going to dry even short. I even looked in the mirror in shock saying over and over again,"That is so short. That is so short. That is so short."

Are you picking up what I'm putting down? It was short.

The stylist could tell I was a bit unsure of what she was doing so she tried to reassure me by saying,"Just trust me. You have curly hair and in order for it to lay straight, you have to cut it this way."

It is very hard to get a grasp on how much of what is being cut off the back of your head when you can't see it. So, I thought to myself,"Self, she seems to act like she knows what she is talking about here. So why not trust her."

And the scissors kept cutting

and cutting

and cutting

and cutting.

At this point, what do you do?

You already know your hair is a major catastrophe. I find it very hard to know what to do in these circumstances and not be rude or impolite. How do you not loose it? It is just hair, right? But, it was bad. Really bad.

When the butchering was all over, she grabbed the dreaded mirror and showed me the back of my hair. I gasped and the first words out of my mouth was,"It is so short. Oh my."

The stylist said,"Wow, girl. You look so much younger."

In that moment, I thought to myself,"Self, how much younger do you need to look? You are 26, have been married for almost 8 years, and have 2 kids. I have a problem not looking old enough to have all of that under my belt. Most people think I'm a college student. But, whatever."

So I said back to her,"I look SOMETHING, but this is some kind of short."

She replied back to me,"Well, I think you look good."

Yep. That is what she said. As if her opinion was the only one in the room that mattered. I graciously paid her and was on my way.

The minute I got in the car, the flood gates opened. It is amazing what a little tiny experience like this will show you about yourself. Up until this point, I was pretty sure I was extremely low maintenance. But, I proved myself otherwise today and that I guess hair IS a big deal to me.

Why is hair such a big deal to us ladies? It is funny isn't it when you actually sit and think about it in times of may ham like this.

I know it will grow back. But, the big downside to that is my hair grows extremely slow. I haven't had a haircut in over a year and a half, and it only grew a little passed my shoulders.

I have been into this hat phase lately too, but I put on hats with my new 'Who do' (I'm now calling it), and you can't even tell that I have hair. So, that isn't good either.

I went into to the salon to get a bob and instead, I look like BOB. Thanks!

Picture Commentary of the Who Do:

The back: Okay, now this is really bad isn't it? The back is just a nightmare. Bumps, humps, and lumps all over the place. This reminds me of the grunge 80s fad of chili bowl cuts, flannel shirts, and Docs. Wow! That's bad. My neck hair is even uneven.
The front: Obviously it was hard for me to even smile for a picture, so this is the best I could muster up. The front really isn't that bad, but it is still SOOOOOO much shorter than what I showed her.

There you have it folks. Brenham hair gone bad. I like to make fun of myself so I'm trying to be the best sport about this. But, it still hurts my heart having no hair on the back of my neck.

The only positive thing about this is that I'm ALWAYS ready for my neck sugars from my hubby since my neck is exposed all of the time now.