Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Diva Tendencies

(Those are in fact Little Mermaid socks)

Kaylyn is our girlie girl. I know that this is exactly the way the Lord made her to be because I haven't encouraged this girlishness- I've embraced it.

She definitely hasn't learned accessorizing from watching me because I hardly ever wear more than my wedding ring. I don't even own another ring that I could wear. Jewelery never has appealed to me. I don't know why.

Kaylyn is always up for dressing up and looking the part. When we went to a 50s diner that is by our house, she wanted to wear this. All of the waitresses wear poodle skirts so of course it was only fitting that KK wore one with leggings, a scarf, and sweater.

And then one cold night during the winter months on one of our fire pit nights, Kaylyn greeted us at the fire pit wearing this giraffe suit. Jason and I almost peed in our pants. She said it would keep her warm. I think she was right about that part because it is solid fleece. KK looks a little mortified in this photo probably because I'm laughing so hard at a good way!

And then a few weeks ago, I had put this outfit on her to go to the grocery store, and she accessorized it with all of these contraptions. This was entirely her own collaboration all of the way down to the belt.

And then I have to include these photos because she is just too darn beautiful in them.

All of these photos prove what I'm trying to say. The girl has diva tendencies.

But, recently she has started saying things to me like,"I'm not beautiful enough in this outfit."

Or,"That doesn't look good on me."

Or,"That's not cute."

Yep. I know. This could turn into a very scary thing apart from the grace of Jesus.

Since these thoughts have started flooding her mind (which blows my mind), we've had lots of open dialogue about beauty coming from our hearts. I'm so thankful the Lord has provided me with His Word to talk to my daughter about being beautiful in the eyes of Jesus instead of the eyes of the world.

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." 1 Timothy 2:9 & 10

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:2-4

I recognize that we are created in the image of the Lord. And I believe that as women, we have tendencies and a natural bend to enhance things around us to make them more pleasing.

Here is a quote from Carolyn Mahaney that explains this so well.

"God is the creator of beauty. God delights in beauty. All we need to verify this fact is to consider the beauty He created all around us: whether it is an elegant flower, or towering trees, or a meandering river, or billowy clouds or the majestic night sky. Every time we stop to take in one of these breathtaking scenes on display in God’s creation, we can’t help but be convinced that He delights in beauty! Because we are created in the image of our Creator, each of us has this propensity to make things beautiful. That means, when we decorate our homes, or plant a lovely flower garden, or seek to add some form of beauty to our surroundings, even when we attempt to enhance our personal appearance—we are actually imitating and delighting in the works of our Great Creator."

So, the sin isn't wearing jewelery, make-up, or decorating our homes. Sin can be the result of our motivation to do these things. Are we trying to draw attention to ourselves by what we put on the outside of our bodies? Do we care more about our outward beauty rather than our inward beauty? Are we more concerned with spending time decorating and cleaning our homes than in His word (guilty!!)? His word says it is what is on the inside of us and our good deeds that make us beautiful. Try explaining that one to a 4 year old!

Actually, the Lord has blessed my conversations with my daughter. She is beginning to understand and the foundation is being laid at such an early age. He has led me to set up ways to help Kaylyn not stumble so easily into this sin. We pick out her clothes together and we talk about things as we are getting ready.

She is already forming a heart towards modesty. I'm so thankful for this. If you think your 2,3, or 4 year old don't pick up on things around are mistaken!

I remember as a 3 year old KK coming up to me with her hand on the collar of her shirt pulling down saying,"Mommy, I want to wear my shirt low like this."

Oh my gracious! I was caught completely off-guard. Again, I'm not boasting about myself. The Lord has done a huge work in my heart in the area of modesty. But, praise the Lord I was able to say back to her,"Do you see Mommy wear shirts like that?"

Her answer was "no." And that settled it for her.

I don't want to squash her femininity. I think it is a beautiful thing. I love that she is all girl........a beautiful girl. There is no denying that. She probably hears this a million times a day from me and random strangers at the grocery store.

I love that she is into details and is super creative. This is a gift. I know the Lord will use this in HUGE ways someday.

But, I do want her to know that the Lord is more concerned with our hearts than our appearance. What makes her beautiful are good deeds, gentleness, a quiet spirit, and a fear of the Lord. I want to praise her more for these things than her outward beauty.

Let's be honest here. I'm still trying to learn this myself. These are difficult truths to wrap ourselves around this day and age when the focus of beauty is based on superficial things.

I'm so thankful the Lord is taking me on this journey and I can bring my daughters along with me. He has already been so faithful.


QuiltedSimple said...

Amen sister - well said!!!!! Your Kaylyn is truly a beautiful adorable little girl - and I pray she will stay that way always. Amazing the crap they expect little kids to wear in the stores these days (at one point I went into Kmart to buy Jessie underwear - all I could find were thongs and ultra low rise bikinis - she was 5) = when I complained to management the response I got well that is the style so that is what we sell. I have never shopped there for clothes for her again. Kaylyn is a diva, but in a totally good way - as she is already started on the right path now.
Take care,

Judy said...

I love this post, Lyns! Thanks for sharing it! I'll be in your shoes in a few years!
Love ya,

Brandi said...

beautiful post, lynsey. i've been so wrapped up in jonas' warrior tendencies, i haven't had time to worry about diva tendencies for br yet. deep breath.

shauna maness said...

my goodness... that was sweet as can be. sweet little kk. you are the greatest mama lyns. what an inspiration you are.
sometimes when i look in the mirror TO THIS DAY i have to quote those verses in my head to remind myself what matters- there is nothing like a breakout & bad hair to make you want to throw in the towel- as if it matters...
love you.

Steph said...

Yes! I agree...wonderful post, and not to mention super cute pics.

It's so hard. When Braelyn has a cute outfit on, or just looks particularly beautiful to me (which is always) I can't help but tell her...which is good...I want her to think she is beautiful. BUT!...I don't want that kind of praise to what she puts her hope in. I know she is learning those things even now!

And I'm with ya girl!...It's still a huge struggle for me...making it doubly overwhelming to think that I am the one who will help shape my daughter's mind about these things!

All by the grace of God! And thank goodness we're not alone.

mandi said...

this one resonates with me- probably all of us in the sisterhood! we had a moment like the one you describe where our 3 year old at the time wanted to wear a tube top (she was trying to make it out of a tshirt). when she came to me for help, i probed a little and she said, 'but this is how _____ at church wears her shirts!'. wow! after we had a heart to heart about it she was fine with it. we have already cut out tv, barbies, and i'm super careful about books, but really? we're battling this at church? yikes!

Anonymous said...

GOD bless you lynsey...and He has..and He will many times over.. giving you 2 such beautiful babies is truly a gift and blessing from our LORD...what a blessing to me to see the importance that you show them every day about GOD and His ways...I love you and know with out a doubt that teaching them HIS ways will truly make them remarkable young women in love with GOD..."with the world behind us & the cross before us..we will always know that JESUS CHRIST will always love us more...keep showing them the way are an awesome "mommy" to my grandchildren...and i am truly blessed having you as my you mom...grandma

Hendrick Family said...

Oh how I love that little Diva...but yes, praying that we're ALL modeling before her what it looks like to desire God's beauty on the inside...not merely on the outside.

Love ya.